The world has become a room full of people having really bad days. Government advice is to sit in a dark corner and rock gently to and fro while sucking your thumb.


Pedro Pereira has been appointed as Forest's new Director of Football. We're not sure who he is, who appointed him, or what exactly a Director of Football does, but we are assured by people who study such matters that this is a good thing.

This is like ordering a jigsaw online, and having the pieces delivered one at a time.

Still only got one piece... we've got two. Philip Mountaineer, new head coach. Huzzah! Seems like a really cool bloke. The first foreign manager of Forest. Sorry, Head Coach. three. Apostolos Vellios, Greek striker. Seems like a really tall bloke. It would be really nice to know who's paying for all these people.

Definitely four now. Finland international defenderThomas Lam from Dutch side PEC Zwolle. Lam has made five appearances for the senior national team.

Hildeberto "Hildeberto" Pereira, right back/wing/attacking defender/loanee/Benfica/fast as a scalded cat.

Damien Perquis. French Polish defender. Another defender. We have lots of defenders. We know none of these people.

Stephen Henderson, goalkeeper. Looks older than Doris. Yet another defender.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.