Ten things we learnt about blah

1.   People like lists, because they reduce the ineffable complexity of experience to bits of information which can be readily absorbed by overloaded brains. Of course, if the listed item moves into a second sentence, or words like ineffable creep in at any point, things become more taxing.

2.   This match proved, if it still needed proving, that only the result matters. Everything else is just flim flam.

3.   Flim flam refers to pre-match predictions, match analysis, and post match reaction. This match proved, if it still needed proving, that there are too many variables at play, especially in Championship matches, for reasoned argument to cope with. Football has more to do with absurdity than logic. The notion that Forest have moved to the Dark Side is as valid as any debate about tactics or players. Over the last three games, Forest have played no better or worse than previously, have not consistently given the impression that there is a plan in place, yet have still won those three games. The only explanation is Sorcery.

4.   Newcastle are not as good as they think they are. They were a better side than Forest, but so they should be given their resources. However, there were fault lines in their side. Firstly, the man who made them tick, Shelvey, looked arrogantly influential, but never provided a major threat. He has always been little more than a showboating Nosferatu with the emotional restraint of a five year old. Secondly, they have problems scoring. Their goal was not the result of sophisticated manoeuvring, but of a series of lucky breaks. Young Cash was robbed by being pushed over, the resulting cross took a deflection which wrongfooted (we think) Mills, who tried to adjust but could only poke the ball out to Ritchie, who scored. None of this was planned, nor was it the result of dreadful defensive play. Thirdly, the Newcastle shirts were one size too small, an intentional ploy designed to highlight the beefiness of their biceps and pectorals and give them a kind of Premier League machismo which has no place in Championship football.

5.   When Lansbury tangled with Shelvey, Shelvey kicked out and probably missed. It is the duty of any player who has been the victim of malicious intent to signal as much to the officials. Lansbury could have done this by jumping to his feet and haranguing the referee, but we know that would have not have worked. Instead he chose to lie down as if injured, a tactic used so often in professional football that it has become routine. The moral outrage which followed from Newcastle quarters and others was laughable.

6.   Laughable, but understandable. Newcastle had had a really bad week, and the post-match reactions of their manager, players and fans reflected this as much as the match itself. Their domination of lesser mortals was not as secure as they thought it had been.

7.   Forest missed two penalties. They should have won four one. As it was, they had to rely on two scruffy goals, both of which resulted from mistakes from Lascelles, who seemed a bit angry at the end.

8.   We don't quite know how Forest are doing it, but they are on a roll. We see no reason why their success should not continue against the Sheep, because, as we have said, reason doesn't seem to be entering into it at the moment. The roll Forest are on has more to do with dice than anything else, so we look forward to seeing them in all their glorious unpredictabilty next Sunday.

9.   Our kitchen is finished. Well, apart from the tiling and the skirting boards and the flooring. But it looks a whole lot better than it did a few weeks ago, as does life.

10.   Forget the ifs and buts. If ifs and buts were coconuts we'd all be bloody monkeys. We won. Get over it.


SEASON 2016/17
01 06.08.16 FOREST 4 BURTON DOWN 3
02 12.08.16 HOVE 3 FOREST 0
03 16.08.16 BENTFORD 1 FOREST 0
04 20.08.16 FOREST 4 WIGGUM 3
05 27.08.16 FOREST 3 LEED 1
06 11.09.16 VILLA 2 FOREST 2
08 17.09.16 FOREST 1 NORRIDGE 2
09 24.09.16 WENDIES 2 FOREST 1
10 27.09.16 FOREST 1 COTTAGING 1
11 01.10.16 BRISTOLS 2 FOREST 1
12 14.10.16 FOREST 3 BOREMINGHAM 1
13 18.10.16 BLACKBum 2 FOREST 1
14 22.10.16 FOREST 1 CAERDYDD 2
16 05.11.16 FOREST 1 Q. P. LADIES 1
17 19.11.16 DIPSWITCH 0 FOREST 2
18 25.11.16 BARNSLEH 2 FOREST 5
19 02.12.16 FOREST 2 NEWCASTLE 1

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.