Mere words cannot describe the quality of that match, so here are 26 of them.
AWESOME
Not the awesome of American teenagers, but the awesome of inspiring fear, like watching your best mate dismantle a bully with clinical precision. Thrilling but scary.
BRILLIANT
In the proper sense of shining, like the glow of the Garibaldi red shirt in the August sunshine.
CONFIDENT
Not once did the Forest players look daunted by anything Bentford did. Gone was all the irritating fluff about pre-season worries as it became clear that Forest were fully prepared to execute Nuno's plan with confidence.
DIFFERENT
Gone, it seems, are the days of absorbing pressure and counter-attacking with speed. Now the press is higher, as is the possession, and the skills required are more technical. We are playing in Europe, after all.
EXTRAORDINARY
Several things were out of the ordinary. Wood's punt over the Bentford defence for the first goal, MGW's swivel and cross and Dan Doye's header for the second, Anderson's snapped pass through to Wood for the third, MGW's inverted overhead kick, Serbinator's destruction of some poor sod, Murillo's
Samba football.
FANTASTIC
From the noun Fantasy, as in Fantasy Football, or that fantasy you keep having about certain things.
GARBAGE
This does not describe the game so much as the reporting, like saying that "Forest picked up where they left off last season" or "Nuno's players did him no favours in his quest for more signings." Pillocks.
HISTORIC
This was Forest's first opening day win since the asteroid hit.
INSTINCTIVE
Forest's team play was drilled and coherent, but what made it special was the instinctive reactions of quality players, Wood's first goal being one example from many.
JOLLY
Nobody uses this word any more except my wife who keeps describing CHO as "jolly handsome" just to annoy me.
KEVIN
Is the English equivalent of Caoimhin, as in
"Caoimhin Kelleher endures nightmare debut in first Premier League game since Liverpool exit".
LOST
Is how Bentford manager Keith Andrews looked during the game. Before and after the game he is quite prepared to sound off, but the 90-odd minutes on the pitch show that blathering isn't enough.
MOTD
A few clips rented from a rival broadcaster, some 1990s graphics and two ill looking blokes droning on about Arse and ManUre ... oh dear.
NOISY
This may seem obvious, but the noise generated by the CG crowd never fails to amaze us. When the goals go in, the roar goes off in your ear like a two bob banger.
OH
MY GOD is what most non-swearing people said when the third goal went in. Freed from desire, mind and senses purified.
PENALTY
If Sangaré's offence was penalised, at least one of the two claimed by Forest should have been given. Sadly, modern referees have abandoned common sense and taken to the bottle in their desperate attempts to understand the rules.
QUALITY
Much of Forest's inter-passing was blurringly quick, because quality players have adapted remarkably quickly under a quality manager.
RUI BARBOSA
Will be forever remembered as the goalkeeping coach who cracked his head open celebrating Chris Wood's goal. My, but that must have hurt.
SCARY
(see AWESOME). But the really scary thing is the thought of what Forest could do from now on, which leads to the
TEMPTATION
to assume that when Forest are at full strength they will probably walk the Premier League as well as conquer Europe, which would be an
UTTERLY
daft thing to assume. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. It was only Bentford, after all.
V
for Vengeance. I know there's not much reason to feel vengeful towards Bentford, but all you had to do was imagine they were still managed by that disturbing fellow Frank Thomas and gratification would flow like custard over bananas.
WAKE UP
You can wake up now. It wasn't a dream after all.
Xg
We all know what this stands for, and it used to be funny, but now it's just embarrassing.
YATES
Certain podcasters should stop sneering at Ryan Yates. He is a decent footballer who continues to work hard to improve and who will make a significant contribution this season, unlike certain podcasters.
ZZZZZZ
Is what you do when you hear the words "BBC Sport". Or "Arsenal". Or "Wayne Rooney". Or "Man City verdict imminent".
SEASON 2025/26 game 2 August 24th 2025
Palearse 1Sarr 37
Nottingham Forest 1CHO 57
If you're the guy who insists that Nuno is "dragging the club's name through the sh*t", I'd like you to explain who provides the sh*t. Is there a sh*t factory near where you live? Or perhaps Amazon does a sh*t delivery service. Is it human sh*t, or a lower quality sh*t like from dogs, bulls, horses or sheep? And how on earth does a great big club like Forest get dragged through this sh*t in the first place? Is there a sea of it?
I think what you've done is confuse "sh*t" with the media. I can understand this. Both smell alike, taste alike, and come from the same place. And to be frank, both are better ignored.
We did our best to ignore the shit media when we watched the game on Sky. Sadly, we had to wade through quite a bit of the "Battle of the Boardrooms" garbage and a few rather limp attempts to stoke a toxic atmosphere before we got to the match...
...which turned out to be a bit of an anti-climax. Yes it did. It was not the "feisty affair" we had been promised. It was not even a particularly hostile atmosphere, unless you think that a hostile atmosphere must include a drum, a megaphone, a vile banner and Sarr cheating all over the place.
To be honest, the match was quite scrappy. If the Forest scrappiness was caused by the off-field distractions, then Palearse must have suffered in the same way, because for great stretches of the match, both teams were guilty of sloppy mistakes.
Perhaps the real reason for the patchy performance was that this was only the teams' second league game and neither side was fully settled or prepared. We've watched a few matches over the last weeks and most of them were messy, disconnected affairs. The quality will improve as the season goes on.
This is how Forest's quality will improve...
☀ N'doye will get fitter, sharper, probably play on the left, and do several pieces of magic per game instead of just one.
☀ MGW will learn to shoot and cut out the flicks and tricks and little dog's dicks which were so costly.
☀ Sangare will give way to Douglas Luiz. (sorry)
☀ Aina will stop faffing about and start being consistently good.
☀ Woody will come and go and score some goals; Kalimuendo will scare the b'jeezus out of defences, as will Jesus; McAtee will strengthen and become a fine player; Hutchinson will calm down and supplement his energy with a bit more accuracy; Sels will reveal that he is one of the Seven Archangels and demand that we worship at his feet; and the rest of them should just carry on as they are.
Anyway, by the end of the match we were definitely on top, what with Igor's cracker and Hutchinson's near thing(s). The Forest kit was beautiful, Antony Taylor did some stupid things but no more than most referees would have done, and people went home and may have had jam for tea. All we need now to ensure a really promising future is for Nuno and Marky Marks to sort out whatever problems remain. Perhaps, if you're part of the sh*t we're being dragged through, you should leave them to it.
SEASON 2025/26 game 3 August 31st 2025
Nottingham Forest 0
Wet Hams 3Bowen 84, Paqueta 88 (pen), Wilson 90+1
This was just rubbish from top to bottom. There was a lack of focus, and no wonder, considering the swarm of distractions that had invaded Forestworld over the past month or so...
☀ A pretty poor pre-season with limited resources.
☀ Uncertainty caused by the Palearse nonsense
☀ Uncertainty caused by the MGW-to-Spurs nonsense.
☀ Transfer plans delayed.
☀ No time to bed in new players.
☀ Confusion over tactical transition.
☀ Late flood of transfers.
☀ Nuno complaints leading to disruptive speculation.
☀ Nuno/Marinakis/Edu showdown speculation.
☀ Europa League excitement.
☀ MGW and Mister Anderson in England squad.
☀ Feverishly high expectations.
☀ Excitement over CHO's new contract.
☀ P.R. distractions, complacency, volatile form, lack of focus.
Too much going on = lack of focus = crap performance.
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