STUFF

FOREST EDGE PAST OBLIGING GERMANS
Glasner sports new marshmallow shoes for unknown reasons

The trouble with pre-season friendlies, especially when they are as friendly as this one against Bayer Leverkusen, is that they present a more or less illusory picture of the state of the squad or the quality of individual players. Nobody goes full throttle, nobody wants to get injured, people are given more time and space to play than in a truly competitive match. So when the crunch time comes, the manager has to be careful not to be swayed in his selection by the odd glowing performance in a semi competitive match.

Which leads us to the goalscorers Ndoye and Kalimuendo. Ndoye scored from an exquisite cross by MGW, but has shown himself to be unreliable as a winger or striker. Kalimuendo scored off his hair, but isn't robust enough to cause real trouble against Premier League opposition. Jesus, despite his earlier flurry of pre-season goals, isn't a natural striker or prolific goalscorer. Taiwo and Wood seem to be fading into the background.

In short, Forest need a proper striker. Not Delap, or Solanke, but somebody like that Patrik Schick bloke who scored for Leverkusen. Because without a proper striker, all the snappy midfield work will be wasted, and we'll end up, like last season, kidding ourselves that the forwards we have will suddenly come good and convert bundles of chances when in fact we fear they probably won't.

Other points of interest. We don't like Glasner's shoes. They look like orthopaedic elevator shoes made from marshmallow. Leverkusen's nickname is die Werkself, or Works Eleven, because they were originally formed from factory workers of the global drugs cartel Bayer.

Brest next. Don't even think about it.