WORLD CUP STUFF

Group L - Croatia 2 Ghana 1 Croatia's victory ended any lingering hopes Scotland might have had of qualifying for the knockout stages. In an emotional resignation speech, Scotland manager Steve Clarke admitted that he was relieved to go because he had never had a clue what he was doing. Group L - Panama 0 England 2 The England win was a relief rather than a triumph. They are doing well enough, despite having the wrong players operating in a chaotic system driven mainly by the alpha-male determination of Bellingham whose aim seems to be to make all his other teammates look like wimps. Group K - Colombia 0 Portugal 0 This should have ended 1 - 0, because Colombia's late goal, ruled offside by VAR, should have stood. I know this because Wayne Rooney told me so. At least I think he did. Group K - DR Congo 3 Uzbekistan 1 Doctor Congo comes 3rd in group K and will play England on Wednesday. Uzbekistan might go home, or they might hang around for a bit, watch some footie, enjoy the food, try to defect, that kind of thing. Group J - Algeria 3 Austria 3 In another twist of the conspiracy theory's tail, Austria's late equaliser meant the end of Iran's hopes of qualifying as one of the best 3rd place sides. Yes, they're all in on it. Group J - Jordan 1 Argentina 3 Messi scored. Again. That's all he does, isn't it? The 2030 World Cup will be in Morocco, Spain and Portugal. Don't be surprised to see him there, scoring goals in all three places at the same time.