There were no excuses for that performance, so here they are, in real time...
The Forest players, being sensitive souls, are obviously affected by the obnoxious spectacle of President el Farto winning the World Cup draw, accompanied by his pet toad Infantino. The lingering memory of this grotesque display severely hampers their ability to concentrate.
Forest players are shocked when Savona is booked for a foul on Grealish. "Fouls on Grealish should go unpunished, on account of his being a serial diver" it says in the Laws of the Game. The refs don't know their own rules. This early setback leads to a disorientated Milenkovic heading into his own goal.
Forest continue to be shocked by the flagrant gamesmanship of the Everton players, by the referee's refusal to smack the smug face of the diving Dewsbury-Fall or the officials refusal to end the violent career of that distasteful thug Tavernier. It becomes clear that the referee is complicit in these anti football tactics.
Forest fight back, but are caught napping in first half extra time, in the five minutes needed to allow Everton to score a goal of their own.
Forest keep trying, but it is obvious that too many key players are missing. Include Aina, Murillo, Luiz, Wood and maybe even Zinchenko in this side, and Everton would be sleeping with the fishes by now.
Forest aren't playing well, because they are tired. Three games in a week is a ridiculous ask. MGW doesn't look fully fit. Sangare is running on three cylinders. Anderson needs a rest. Everton are running on an extra day's juice. Some fans seem unwilling to accept that injuries and fatigue are factors in underperformance, but that is because they are stupid or bear malicious intent.
Forest hear dispiriting news from the Gabba, where the England cricket team are being mauled by the Australians. Scousers know nothing of cricket, but Forest associate the ridiculous catastrophe of Bazball with the ridiculous catastrophe of Angeball, and it makes them very sad.
Everton score a third, and in the poisonous world of "the socials" this becomes a thrashing, Sean Dyche becomes a stand-in moaner, players are scapegoated, everything about Forest is shit, negativity spreads like the plague, and perspective disintegrates like sugar glass.
"But this was just a second defeat in Forest's past six games in all competitions, a loss they will hope to be able to chalk down as just a bad day at the office," concludes the BBC. Now we understand that ignoramuses hold the BBC in contempt, and we too would question the idiomatic integrity of "chalk down as", but at least they display a measure of perspective. If you want to remain bitter, get in touch with Nigel Farage.
The Dick-Hillingdon stadium is a fine stadium. There is easy parking in Southport, and the quickest way out is to jump into the dock.
Almost everything we say in this summary is true, as always. If you don't like it,
bog off. Not you, that other bloke.
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Everton 3
Nottingham Forest 0
