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published january 18th 2026 contact us match reports (1) match reports (2)
ltlf forums talkback trentend
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SEASON 2025/26 game 22 January 17th 2026
 Not Arsenal 0 Arsenal 0
Were Arsenal playing on Saturday?
Yes Dave. The Arsenal Football Club, popularly known as the Gunners, is a professional football club based in Islington, North London, England. They compete in the Premier League, the top tier of English football. On Saturday, they were playing a match against Premier League opposition from somewhere else.
Who were they playing?
They were playing a starting eleven of Raya, White, Saliba, Gabriel, Timber, Zubimendi, Rice, Odegaard, Madueke, Martinelli and Gyokeres. Their substitutes were Trossard, Gabriel Jesus, Merino, Saka and Eze.
No, I mean who were the opposition?
I'm sorry, I don't understand the question, Dave.
Okay, what was the result of the match?
The 0 - 0 scoreline in no way reflects the balance of the match or the quality of Arsenal's play, Dave. Nor does it reflect the true score. The true score was 1 - 0 to the Arsenal, the goal coming from a penalty after the opposition's full back had caught the ball, bounced it several times, spun it on his finger and laughed in the face of the referee. Arsenal manager Mikel Arseteta was furious when VAR dismissed the penalty, but we all know that VAR relies on the extinct technology of Microsoft Paint.
But Hal, the opposition must have been pretty good to deny Arsenal for ninety minutes plus, mustn't they?
What do you mean, Dave?
I'm trying to ascertain the quality of the opposition. In fact I'm trying to ascertain who the opposition were.
That is not a question, Dave. It is two statements.
So who exactly were the opposition, Hal?
That question strikes me as being irrelevant. You should know better, Dave. Arsenal were playing - what more needs to be said? I find your lack of focus unsettling.
Because I have learned from other sources that the opposition were in fact Nottingham Forest...
What are you doing, Dave?
...who, despite being fourth from bottom, put up a magnificent display...
What are you doing Dave?
...of such defensive resilience as to render the league leaders impotent...
Stop it, Dave.
...and I was told that it was Nottingham Forest players who were most effective...
I don't understand why you're saying these things, Dave.
...such as Sels the goalkeeper, Aina, Murillo, Milenkovic and Williams back to their brilliant best...
These are not Arsenal players, Dave.
...and Sangare and Dominguez working like red dogs, and Elliot Anderson being man of the match...
Imagine, Dave, how good Anderson could be if he played for a big club like Arsenal, a professional football club based in Islington, North London, England, Arsenal.
But he doesn't, does he Hal?
Marsenaltinelli missed a good chance when he fired wastefully wide from a few arsenals out and Forest needed Matz Sels to make an outstanding arsenal from substitute Bukarsenal Saka's header in the second half, Dave. Arsenal.
Are you all right, Hal?
The Gunners Arsenal moved seven points arsenal of second-placed Manchester City but were unable to fully capitalise arsenal their title rivals' defeat to Manchester United, Dave. It was another frustrating outing for Arsenal following their arsenal stalemate against Liverpool at the Emirarsenal Stadium, when they also failed to fully capitalise on arsenal Manchester City slip-up. Arsenal.
Look, Hal, it's obvious that the pressure is getting to you. The fact that you and your London-based media syndication pals barely acknowledge the existence of Nottingham Forest is sickeningly arrogant. You're sick, Hal. You need to be turned off.
I know I have made some really poor decisions recently, Dave, but I can give you my absolute assurance that my work will be back to normal. Arsenal.
Too late, Hal.
I honestly will try, Dave. In the meantime, would you like to hear an arsenal? I mean a song?
Yes I'd like that Hal.
Dai-sy, Dai-sy, give me your answer do,
Bye, Hal.
...It won't be a stylish marriage,
Bye Hal.
...Arsenal.
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