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published May 5th 2026 contact us match reports (1) match reports (2)
ltlf forums talkback trentend
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SEASON 2025/26 game 35 May 3rd 2026
 Chelsea 1Joao Pedro 90+3  Nottingham Forest 3Awoniyi 2, 52 Jesus 15 (pen)
1. Chelsea were crap. I mean, seriously crap. Not only were they crap, they played as if they knew it. This made them unhappy, confused and a bit weird like Palmer.
2. Vitor Pereira made eight changes to his Forest side, a bold move which lulled the Chelsea players into a false sense of stupidity, and nudged Unai Emery nearer the nervous breakdown he always seems on the brink of.
3. Forest's first goal came after 98 seconds, the same time it takes to microwave a dish of scrambled eggs. What made it special was Bakwa's splendid bamboozlement of Cucaracha, his perfectly flighted cross, and Taiwo's emphatic header. Two second string players outperforming the cream of South London, or South West London, or West London, or wherever the bloody place is.
4. Forest's second goal came shortly afterwards. Bakwa diddled Cucaracha, again, which proves conclusively that men with long hair have short-term memory issues. Meanwhile, Taiwo's attempt to meet the cross was being hampered by Malo "Bad Taste" Gusto's shirt pull. Upon release of said shirt, m'lud, the Nottingham Forest forward was catapulted to the ground and a penalty was awarded. The spot kick was smartly converted by Igor Jesus because he had a new baby, or something.
5. An unfortunate crack of heads (get well soon, kids) resulted in a Chelsea penalty, taken by the lazily unconvincing Palmer, and duly saved by Sels, who monitors all future activity from his sky throne.. Pundits and sceptics should note the following: having a penalty saved and having goals overturned by VAR is not "unlucky", and hitting the woodwork has never counted as a goal.
6. The second half began with MGW crossing for Taiwo to score his second. MGW has been in prime form and fully deserves inclusion in the England squad, whereas Palmer does not. ThomasTookle was watching, but he always looks too ill to make rational decisions. Fingers crossed.
7. After MGW and Chelsea keeper Sanchez had left the field after trying to top each other (get well soon, kids), an estimated 18% of the onfield players were concussion substitutes.
8. Joao Pedro's brilliant overhead kick near the end was cheered to the rafters by the 25 Chelsea fans who had stayed behind to avoid toilet congestion.
9. Forest are realistically safe. If Arse beat Wet Hams, Forest are definitely safe. But we don't need to worry about other teams, because the way Forest are steaming along, they will probably beat Newcs, ManUre and the Muffs anyway.
10. What's that noise in your head, Unai? Is it a train?
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TEN THINGS WE LEARNED FROM THIS MATCH..
